Voices
by Jasperemerald23
Summary: Gavin didn't show up for work that day. A Rooster Teeth fanfic, rated M for MAJOR TRIGGERS.


"Gavin? Gavin, open the door."

It had started out as an ordinary day. Michael had gone to work, started editing a Rage Quit, and everything seemed normal. There was just a little thought in the back of his mind, a small nagging feeling that something was missing. It wasn't until later when he was almost done editing that the thought suddenly pushed to the surface and he sat up straight, revelation flickering in his eyes.

_Gavin wasn't at work today._

As soon as Geoff walked into the room, Michael spun around.

"Hey, where's Gavin?" Geoff frowned.

"He said he wasn't feeling well. Wanted to stay home." Michael's heart leapt into his throat and he stood up. "I've gotta find him. I'll be right back."

"Why? What is it?" Geoff asked, raising an eyebrow. Michael looked at him, and Geoff was surprised to see tears in his deep brown eyes.

"I think he's going to kill himself."

It had been little things at first. Gavin would show up at work, but smile a little less every day. When he looked away, Michael would see his rare grins fade, and sadness tinged his once-bright eyes. Michael had started being kinder to him, yelling less and smiling at him more, patting him on the back after a Let's Play or defending him when he angered the other Achievement Hunters. It seemed to help for a while, but Gavin became more and more distant, and Michael became more and more worried.

One day, Michael had stopped Gavin from going to lunch with the others and sat him down on the couch.

"Hey, have you been feeling okay, Gav? You've looked really crappy all week." Gavin's eyes widened and he opened his mouth slightly, then smiled and shook his head.

"Nah, I feel fine, Mi-cool. Perfectly top." Michael looked at him, doubt clear in his eyes. But he sighed quietly and let it go.

"Well, if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you, okay? You're my boy, remember." Gavin smiled, and they left for lunch.

Gavin never called him to talk. Not once. He became sadder and more distant than ever, and all Michael could do was watch.

And that brought him to where he was now, hammering on the door to Gavin's house, praying that he wasn't too late.

"Gavin, it's me. Open up."

No answer.

Michael gulped and took out the spare key out of his pocket and pushed it into the lock. It opened with a _click_ and he roughly shoved the door open and rushed to Gavin's room. Of course, as luck would have it, he'd locked the door.

"Gav, open the door or so help me I'll break it down." Michael said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. No sound came from the other side of the door, so Michael backed up and ran at the door, kicking it and rushing in after the lock splintered and the door slammed open.

All the blood rushed from Michael's face at the sight before him.

Gavin was lying in a pool of his own blood, the thick coppery liquid seeping out of the multiple deep gashes on his arms and wrists. Even from a distance, Michael could tell his chest wasn't rising and falling nearly fast enough.

"Oh my god, GAVIN!" He screamed, hurrying over to his best friend's side, dropping to his knees and ignoring the blood staining his jeans. He pushed two fingers to the side of Gavin's neck, feeling the slow heartbeat. He was alive, but probably not for long. Looking around frantically for something to stop the bleeding, his eyes fell upon a small piece of metal lying next to Gavin's pale, bloodstained fingers. _It was a razor._ Michael paid no mind to the endless tears that were pouring down his face, and instead grabbed the razor and flung it across the room. Far away from Gavin's reach.

Grabbing several towels from the bathroom across the hall, he rushed back and pressed the soft fabric against the cuts. Gavin moaned slightly and moved his head, and Michael pulled out his phone, keeping a careful eye on his friend's pale face. _911, what's your emergency?_

"M-my friend is bleeding, and he's dying, and I can't stop it…"

He was surrounded by a sea of blackness, feeling no pain, no sadness, no nothing. It was what he'd been wanting for a while now. It was peaceful.

_"Gavin… Wake up. Please. Don't give up on us. You've got to wake up."_

Michael. What was he doing here? He looked around frantically, searching for his best friend. Where was he?

"_Do it for me. I love you, Gav. Please wake up. Please."_

Slowly, he opened his eyes, and Gavin returned to the world of the living. Squinting, he glanced around the room. White walls, white ceiling, white blankets. Why the hell was he in the hospital? Memories came flooding back as Gavin looked down and saw the numerous stitches on his arms and wrists. Black thread had sewn shut his only way out of this life.

"Gav?" Gavin's head whipped to the side as Michael sat up, staring at him. He must have been sleeping, and now Gavin had gone and woken him up. Some friend he was.

"Mi-cool?" Gavin coughed slightly, wincing at how rough his voice sounded. However, he didn't have time to dwell on it, because Michael's arms were wrapped around him as though he would disappear at any moment, and the puzzle pieces in Gavin's mind suddenly fit together.

_He has to hate me, he has to. He insults me, torments me and made me want to die._

_ So why did he save me?_

"Never… Never do that again." Michael sobbed into Gavin's shirt.

"Mi-cool," Gavin protested weakly. He wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground, so he would never have to live with the shame of being caught, so Michael couldn't taunt him again, so Gavin could find a secluded place and get his razor out and bleed and bleed…

"No, Gavin. I'm _not _leaving. I-" Michael trailed off as he lifted his tear-stained face to meet the Brit's. Then without warning, he pressed their lips together in a soft kiss.

Gavin's mind was screaming, half terrible shrieks, telling him that he deserved to die and his friends all hated him, but that one half spoke the logical truth, and for once, it drowned out the shrieks.

_If he hates me, then why is he kissing m- oh my god, Michael is kissing me._

Gavin's eyes flickered shut, kissing back and ignoring the war playing out in his head.

Michael pulled away and stared at Gavin with watery, yet beautiful, eyes. "Why did you do it?" Gavin looked away, his face flushing.

"You guys are always yelling, and screaming, and telling me that I'm horrible, and even after you stopped, the v-voices in my head kept going, telling me that I'm a d-despicable person a-and I should just go d-die…" He said, sobs marring the words.

"Gavin, listen to me." Michael said firmly through his tears, gently taking Gavin's face in his hands. "You don't deserve to die. You are funny, and amazing, and talented, and beautiful. I love you Gavin Free, and if you killed yourself because of me, I don't know how I'd live with myself. You are the most amazing person I've ever met, the toppiest of the top." And with that, Michael pressed their lips together once more. When they pulled away, Gavin's eyelids were slowly shutting because of his medication. Michael gripped his boy's hand tight and squeezed.

"I love you, Gavin." Gav smiled, even as his eyes shut.

"I love you, Mi-cool."

Their hands stayed clasped through the night.


End file.
